Saturday night consciousness

Saturday night, July 17 2011

Sitting at a café/pizzeria in the evening in old town Graz, it’s quite the experience with all the sights and sounds.

There’s a multitude of activity going on. I’m waiting for the server to come sitting in a large table for 6. There are couples holding hands, groups of young people and what seems to be a class trip walking down the street.

The waiter finally arrives and points at a half hidden “reserved” sign and leaves without saying a word. So much for hospitality, so I get up and move to another table where he redeems himself by quickly coming by to take my drink order of a “Radler” with a smile.

There are all sorts of people walking by of all age ranges, and my ears pick up multiple languages. Some ‘older’ couples enjoying a night on the town. Across the street 4 young guys are taking silly pictures of each other in head locks.

Many groups of beautiful ladies dressed to kill are walking by, probably grabbing some drinks with friends before hitting the clubs later. Other people are pushing their bikes or walking around with their dog.

A large group walks by following an interesting man dressed in a long black coat with long hair and awesome facial hair carrying what looks like an old lantern. He stops and everyone gathers around him when he starts talking loudly in a heavy Austrian dialect, saying what seems to be a prepared monologue. I only catch every third or fourth word but it’s still interesting to watch.

Families are also out tonight, some parents pushing baby strollers and others sitting down for a bite to eat.

I order my pizza and enjoy my Radler when I realize that this pizzeria is owned and operated solely by an Italian family. The mother and father man the kitchen while what looks like their son and daughter work as servers. I also realize that I could have had the gorgeous daughter as my server but instead got the son as a server….

If walking in heels what a sport I bet the European ladies would win hands down. So many ladies seem to only have heels in their closets and have no issue waling on the cobble stone streets and uneven sidewalks. I’m not complaining tough since most also have some killer legs. At the same time there are many rocking the flat non heeled shoes too.

The old town area is full of street side cafes and restaurants with outdoor seating and the atmosphere is comfortable and filled with happy chatting voices.

Liquor laws are pretty lax here and it’s common to see people walking the streets enjoying a beer or a cocktail.

The sun is slowly disappearing on the horizon while more and more people seem to walk by. You can only see small patches of sky since the old high buildings rise on either side of the street. Most buildings have some sort of business on the first floor and residential condos/apartments on top. You can spot the entrances to them wedged between said business entrances.  

Many of the people walking by are drop dead beautiful girls and I’m quite enjoying it ;-)

The lights create a warm glow and the absence of cars allow the air to be filled with laughter and voices or people sharing time with friends or family

I take deep breaths and try to take a mental picture of this. What an experience, the solitude and peace allows me to clear my mind of all the clutter and I immediately start seeing things in my life so much clearer.

I pay my bill and get up to walk around a little more.  Down the street I stop in an ice cream shop to grab something sweet.

The slightly cool air of the night feels so fresh as I make my way to the “Schloss Berg” or Mountain Castle. There are a series of stairs that lead you up it and at night they light them up and it too is surrounded by cafes and restaurants, what I view.

I slowly climb the old stone stairs and stop every couple of minutes to enjoy the emerging view of the city. As I climb the temperature gets noticeably cooler as the wind seems to pick up.

I don’t quite make it to the top before I turned around and headed back down. I have to say that it is a pretty romantic place; I’ll have to remember that if I get a date while I’m here ;-)

At the bottom I walk to the entrance to the stairway that goes up but thru the inside of the mountain as well as the tunnel that takes you to the lift up….what engineering feats.

I start heading back home down the main street, and I enjoy watching the people walking by. At the end of the street I stop by a fountain and see a couple trying to introduce their Labrador to the water. An entertaining show as they coax him to jump in the fountain to join his owner.

The last couple of streets that take me home are dark and uneventful.

I get home and feel content and happy; having enjoyed a pleasant night on my own J Life is good…

Ending thoughts:

 “Placing a large amount of your happiness on external factors puts your happiness in a precarious situation”

“At the end your happiness is directly related to your attitude”

“Don’t wait for opportunities, create them”

"The more I step outside of my comfort zone the more I achieve and create!"....

What does “Growing Up” even mean?

If it’s just getting older than “Growing up” is just a matter of years spent on earth but I’m not sure it’s that simple. Years spent on earth might be a factor in “Growing up” but it doesn’t answer the question. How many “older” people do you know that still act like 5 year olds?

If it’s just learning information (aka high school, trade school, College) than it means the more “book smart” you are the more you “Grown Up” you are. Again I think learning information is a “Growing up” factor but doesn’t hold much water on its own. How many “nerds” do you know that are still immature?

I think “Growing up” is really a creative way of calling the journey of finding who you are? Of defining yourself, of developing your identity and yourself. It’s something that doesn’t have a destination. You don’t get a diploma when you are done “growing up” because plainly said you never stop growing up (or you never should). You never stop finding out who you are and defining yourself. Yes age and education are factors, but they are tools in your quest in life.

Through education you are exposed to new ideas, and information. You are exposed to different people in your classrooms; and you experience and learn about different aspects of the world. This helps form your own ideas/views....that whole “critical thinking” stuff they kept saying in school remember? The downfall is that sometimes you end up adopting other’s ideas as your own and never get the opportunity to develop your own.

Age allows you the time to experience new things, situations etc. that challenge you and force you to make tough decisions about your life. Just because you are older doesn’t necessarily mean that you are more “Grown up” because age does not correlate directly with life experience. A hard working self made middle class young adult can have more experience and thus have the potential to be more “Grown up” than a rich young adult that has had everything handed to them.

The problem is that many people get “stuck,” or “stall” in regards to “Growing up”....Their life gets too routine, same friends, same activities, same job etc. They get comfortable and they’re happy, life is good. Uncomfortable, difficult situations are kept at a minimum and life is relatively easy. Life is a “comfort zone,” doesn’t sound bad does it? I agree sounds pretty damn good but you are still in a rut. With no new experiences, and/or difficult situations you are basically “stuck” the way you are. It’s a way of saying that you are content with where you are in regards to your development as a person, defining who you are etc. But inevitably difficulties will find their way into your life and you won’t know how to deal with them since you are not used to them.

This has been my opinion for years which is why I never thought that I would fall into my own “comfort zone” but I did. I eventually started to feel the effects, any little difficulty would send off the wall. In Phx I had everything I needed to be happy, great family and friends, a decent job, great weather but something was missing. I was in a “rut,” my development as a person had come to a halt and I came to find out that that was why I wasn’t completely happy.

I had to make a change....

This is one of the main reasons that I moved to Austria. A way of picking up my Etch-a- Sketch and give it one hell of a shake. I thought had an idea of how hard this “shake” was going to be and prepared myself but I was still scared shitless; even with the fact that I was going to be living with some great people and had a job lined up. I took the leap knowing that a net would appear and that such an experience was going to be great in my “Growing up.”

The sad truth is I totally underestimated the difficulty of this adventure. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster. Here are all the hurdles I’ve hit along the way. (My biggest thanks to Heinrich, Andrea and Phillip, without them this list would be a lot longer):

--   Lost my job to someone more qualified than me after only a week of working there. Found another one fairly quickly but it’s not as nice as I’d like it to be so still looking but it’s a job that pays so I’m happy for now.

--   Had to visit the German Consulate three times to finally turn in everything to renew my passport. First visit I didn’t have a certain form, second visit I didn’t have enough cash to pay for it, third time was the charm, should have it send to me in a couple of months.

--   bought a cell phone with a great month by month plan, but still jumping through all the hoops (there’s a lot of them) to get the service started. One of them being that I can only use an Austrian bank account to pay for service (been surviving with the 100 free minutes they give you in the beginning).

--   LANGUAGE even though my German came back quickly I’m still not completely comfortable with it and the dialects here are tough to understand. Small talk is tough and picking up on jokes etc. is not easy.

--   Missing my friends and family back home a lot. Didn’t think I was going to miss everyone so much. I miss their support. Not many friends to get a beer with in the evenings, not many friends to go on rides with (road or mtn) etc over here.

--   A new city to get used to. Didn’t think it was going to take me so long to figure out a city but it’s tough. All the small narrow streets seemingly going nowhere and everywhere etc. 

Most of these hurdles are not that big but together they’re a big pain but I’m eliminating them quickly. Others are pretty big and are tough to get over, mostly it’s just a matter of time and patience but it’s still kind of shitty.

The biggest issue is trying to get out of my shell. You see, inherently, I’m a relatively shy person. This might be a surprise to most of you but it’s only when I’m very comfortable in my surroundings that I open up and become social. Took me a couple of years, but in PHX I was able to shed my shell. Now I’m here in a new country, another language, new people, new culture, new surroundings, new friends and a completely different way of life so I’m back in my shell again. I’m hoping it will be easier to get out of than last time.

I’ve broken down a couple of times over here, and even been tempted to fly back home early but that would be the easy way out and would defeat the purpose of this trip. Things will work out and each difficulty/challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow, and even if this is not how I had imagined it being over here I’m still glad I’m here.

 "The more I step outside of my comfort zone the more I achieve and create!" (Thank you Dee Scott for the quote)